The Catch Can
By Rick Eckart

TOP 10 STORIES THAT BROKE DURING THE RAIN DELAY
Tuesday August 14, 2007

10. Carl Edwards (broken wrist - goofing off in dirt track race) will arm-wrestle Kyle Petty (broken hand - goofing off in hauler) where the winner is declared "2007 Hand Jive Champion".

9. With 4 races postponed a day for rain and 3 others delayed, maybe Mother Nature has taken a year off watching NASCAR, and is really taking this World Rally thing seriously.

8. Dale Earnhardt Jr is also barred from having any good jokes written about him in the #8 position of an Internet "Top Ten List" by Teresa Earnhardt and DEI.

7. Texas Motor Speedway wants to move its November Cup race because it conflicts with the first day of deer season. Said track president Eddie Gossage, "The problem is 200,000 fans hit a lot of deer on the way to the track, and there's no good ones left after the race."

6. Sam Hornish Jr, still undecided, will finally make a decision on NASCAR while playing EASports "NASCAR '08" during next year's Daytona 500. Or maybe the next week after that.

5. If Tony Stewart is forced to drive Toyotas next year, it is widely believed he will still climb the catchfence, but at the top he will leap off and yell, "Oh, what a feeling! Toyota!"

4. Ricky Rudd will attempt to set a new record and retire more times than Mike Tyson.

3.After bailing the fan out of jail who wanted his autograph at Watkins Glen, Matt Kenseth will turn to political causes and turn around the finances of presidential candidate John McCain.

2. Kyle Busch will bring stability to Joe Gibbs Racing like the "Car of Tomorrow" has eliminated "aero push" on the racetrack.

…and the #1 story that broke during the rain delay…

1. Kevin Harvick and Juan Pablo Montoya have decided to settle their dispute like men. They will face each other on Jeff Foxworthy's "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader" and attempt to kick each other's ass with simple geometry questions.