The Catch Can
By Rick Eckart

California (B)Rain Delay
Monday, February 25, 2008

Keep your hands on the wheel and put your brain into neutral, it's time to see what's in The Catch Can:

By the length of the TV broadcast Sunday, they sure picked the wrong year to switch the name to Sprint Cup. Perhaps Kyle Petty's sponsor Marathon Oil was available?

Pro-Cuts has made a standing offer to exchange Tony Stewart's mullet for the "haircut of his choosing."

Rumor on pit road was that Tony Stewart would switch his endorsement of sandwich chains from health-conscious Subway to figure-describing Blimpies.

In addition to being the newest member of the Daytona 500 club, Ryan Newman is also the newest member of the "Hair Club for Men".

Junior Johnson drove the pace car for the Daytona 500. He was made a NASCAR Official so he could do this. Wonder if he felt strange on this side of the law?

Dale Earnhardt Junior's #88 Chevy was so loose at California, he made more saves than Billy Graham.

Former crew chief Robbie Reiser is not happy in his new management role at Roush Fenway Racing and may "go back to his roots". Said Reiser, "I just want to flip burgers and run the Fry Daddy at Dairy Queen if at all possible."

In order to squelch all rumors, Bobby Labonte will run a new paint scheme, the "I Am Not Switching to RCR" paint scheme. It will be black and he'll drop the number 4 from his current scheme, so it's just a #3 for emphasis.

Observers claimed there was more trash on the track at California than the front row of a David Allan Coe concert.

Those who believe NASCAR will reverse its Robby Gordon penalty can take comfort in the fact that they are sipping his sponsor's product, Jim Beam. In quantities that should exclude them from operating heavy machinery.

When I heard Jimmy Johnson of Hendrick Motorsports died, I thought he might have smiled hisself to death, before I realized it was a different Jimmy Johnson.

If this racing thing doesn't work out for Tony Stewart, he's halfway home to securing a spot in ZZ Top, judging strictly by facial hair.

and the last drop in The Catch Can says...

If pit-reporter Matt Yocum ever asks Jeff Gordon if he's "comfortable with his package" again, he will receive a six-race suspension of his own.